幽默的分手信及回信

此篇經網路上傳閱, 作者不詳, 覺得非常幽默, 反覆再看也饒有趣味,  貼出來分享一下:

{男方提出的分手信}

Dear :

想向你辭去情人的職務，任職一年多來，在崗位上我努力學習，克盡職守，對你噓寒問暖，小心翼翼，揣測你的需要，滿足你各方面需求。在感情上--提供你慰藉，讓你有被愛的感覺；在行動上--等待、接送、陪伴、更只是基本工作。雖不經手財務，卻要負起所有買單重責；三不五時還要送禮討你歡心。

一個稱職的情人要溫柔體貼，還要心胸寬闊。聽你提及對別的男人的大方及讚賞，不可以醋勁大發。 剛任職之時不知如何拿捏，犯了幾次錯誤竟敢與你鬧情緒? 幾度你想把我開除，後來在我保證不再犯的前提下， 你勉強再給我觀察期。

這些時日以來，幾經思索，感謝你給我這次機會。但我確實不適任此職位，想向你申請調回朋友部門。

看你對那部門同仁有說有笑，三不五時還會請他們小聚一番，有點羨慕他們：

 上班時間彈性，不用隨 call隨到，不用接送，  不用買單，不用送禮，不用面對你冷漠一面，
 可看到你陽光似的笑容，聽到你幽默言談。

 而我雖佔了情人的缺，除了責任加重卻沒任何特殊待遇；  沒有甜言蜜語，沒有多一點關心， 沒有禮物，沒有.....
決定辭去這職務，至於你是否願讓我調部門，一切尊重你的裁決.....

一個盡心盡力的員工敬上

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{女方的回覆信}

Dear :

關於您轉調部門的提議，經過董事家長會開會討論，以下決議事項向您說明:因您當初面試時的職務為情人，標準與要求一開始就跟朋友不同， 雖然試用期間你的表現不好差點被開除，但念在你苦苦哀求且信誓旦旦的說明你可以改進與昇任，才予以留任。

情人屬於正職工作，與兼職的朋友部門不同，當然責任與工作相對也比較多，但是薪資及福利保證優於朋友部門， 情人有按摩、親親、抱抱、陪睡、陪同參予家庭聚會與煮宵夜的紅利與福利，還有很好的升遷管道，可以升為老公、爸爸、阿公...等，這些絕對都是朋友部門所沒有的。

最後，因目前朋友部門沒有職缺，情人又是重要職務，因此在未尋獲新人或職務代理人並完成交接前，先將您轉調到備胎部門，這個部門的人員不需要每天面對老闆，應該可以暫時讓您的責任跟壓力不那麼大。等情人職務有人可以交接時，可再將您轉調到地下情人部門，當然若屆時朋友部門有缺也可轉調到朋友部門，或是您要離職也可以，當然自動離職是沒有遣散費的。

謝謝您一年多來的努力...

董事會成員代表 敬上

Meaning behind the date June 5

It is interesting to check out the meaning behind a Birth date. Just for fun. You can check out your own under the following website if you have interests

Birthday on June 5
----------------------------
You Are a Revolutionary .You have many talents, and you are
great at sharing those talents with others. Most people would be
jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to
elicit jealousy.
Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge
ideas.Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding
new challenges.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower
Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom
Your power color: Tangerine
Your power symbol: Ace
Your power month: May

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

Meaning of being born on day 5 of the month
------------------------------------------------
Your Life, Although you are on the quiet side, but you
enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you
cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you
hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading
your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.
Your Love, Nothing can stop you from making progress
in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the
ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes
your jealousy becomes worse.

http://partythemeshop.com/birthday_meaning.htm


With a birthday on the 5th of the month
you are inclined to work well with people
and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile,
very good at presenting ideas. You may have a
tendency to get itchy feet at times and need
change and travel. You tend to be very progressive,
imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever
and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make
you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine.
You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-birthdays.html

Birthday and its corresponding tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 Hornbeam Tree
--------------------------------------------------------------
HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares
for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life
as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life,
looks for kindness and acknowledgement in an emotional partner,
dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings,
mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

http://www.wowzone.com/whattree.htm

Purple Rose                                                                   Dog Rose

Meaning of the June Birth Flower:                                  
The Rose are passionate love and beauty
Purple roses mean protection and maternal or paternal love.
Dog Rose…Pleasure Mixed with Pain


http://www.birthflowersguide.com/june-birth-flower.html

http://www.theflowerexpert.com/content/aboutflowers/flowermeanings/rose-flower-meanings


June Birthstone: The Pearl  Poem
---------------------------------
"By her who is this month was born
No gem save Pearls shall be worn
They will ensure her constancy
True friendship and fidelity."
................................................................................................
The properties with which the Pearl, the birthstone of the Zodiac
sign of Gemini, is associated are as follows:
Loyalty, faithfulness and friendship
Modesty, chastity and purity
The Pearl is also used to enhance personal integrity

Characteristics of Gemini - May 21 - June 20
Inquisitive, Clever, Adaptable, Lively & Communicative

http://www.birthstones.org.uk/birth-month-flowers/june-birth-flower.htm